// this to hide post title Devolution: I Never Grew Up & I Ain’t Ashamed

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

I Never Grew Up & I Ain’t Ashamed


Never outgrew my boyish love of those loud exhaust pipes filling the air with their thick, black smoke
The noise and smell of any type of explosives from firecrackers to AK-47s still quickens my heart
Drivin my giant diesel pickup all alone reminds me of my bug-eyed boyhood lovea big red firetrucks
Don’t need to spend time studying the issues any more than I needed to pay any attention in school

Like always, if it tastes good like hot dogs I’ll eat it and to hell with your squirrelly rabbit health food
I still get my kicks watching the big boys knock hell out of each other and now I lay on my own couch
Them intrusive gov’t over-regelaters sure do remind me of my stupid elementary school teachers
I’m living proof that kids don’t have to read books all the dam time to get ahead here in the USA

I’m still being socialized by television, only now it’s good old Faux News instead of just kids TV ads
As the super-rich taught us – being greedy is really just the patriotic pursuit of individual happiness
Yup, and that share and share alike business? That’s just tired socialist pabulum for the Moochers
My lifetime selfishness is still right as rain in this survival of the fittest world we all have to live in

Still running wild and free out in the woods, only now I’m on my dirt bike, snowmobile or ATV
Was taught to put women up on a pedestal so I’m still quite respectful of them topless table dancers
Even though the nannies have always tried to take them all away, I love my guns more than ever now
Thanks to many years spent playing War, I’m ready to bomb the shitake outta any country in our way

When I put on my $200 official NFL jersey I often think back on the boyhood sports I almost played
I only wish we could still beat the crap out of the queers and geeks for fun, just like we used to
My daddy taught us how to fish and I really love going out in my 300 hp bass boat with a case of beer
I’ll tell you what, my dam checking account is as empty as that lame piggy bank ever was - & it’s OK!

I still hate asparagus, broccoli and that type of sh*t, but now I don’t have to eat it to get my dessert
Yup, and I graduated from teeny cans of coke to them 44 oz Big Gulps I always watched Daddy drink
I never liked cleaning up my bedroom so now I leave whatever I want to, out in the front yard
And aint nobody gonna make me go do like calisthenics or any st00pid exercising no more, no how

It’s totally clear now that I never did need to give a dam about all them whatever hindis & fukistanis
And the greenies still cant tell me - What has any stinking polar bear ever done for me?
I put my trash back to the earth just like I always did – I dump it all wherever I’m done with it
People shouting & fighting remain far more interesting than whatever boring reasonable discussions

Now I can carry on anytime, as loud as I want with my bros, specially when we’re havin a few beers
Dont have to wait fer $XMAS ta go charge off whatever new electronic or 4x4 goodie I really want
Still don’t see any reason ta spend half my dam life brushing my teeth or even ever go to the dentist
And I’m as badass as ever despite the bum knees, twisted shoulder, pre-diabetes and sore back

Listen, I really don’t care if I cain’t never figger out the change I got coming from a $20 bill
I still don’t give a dam about whatever 25% off actually means, cuz I know a good deal when I see it
I’ve never forgotten the fact that I am a very entitled citizen of an extremely exceptionist people
And my ideals of jesus christ and His paradise that awaits me are jest as clear now as they ever been

No comments:

Post a Comment