Sure
I knew my numbers guys cooked the books to pump up our stock
so we could get more bonuses
We
were aware that we were sucking out everyone’s precious
underground water for free, to waste
No,
I’m not sorry I called you an overpaid, incompetent,
quota-filling, untouchable
under-performer
Well,
we did realize that every untested chemical we put in our
products could not be as safe as milk
I
was indeed quite aware that on various occasions I had
misstated facts and misrepresented myself
As
they signed the contract I breathed a sigh of relief over the
pertinent
omissions in my sales talk
Even
before we ratified that treaty we had already laid our plans
to dishonestly circumvent its intent
Actually,
our post-police shooting riot was more about free liquor &
electronics than racial injustice
We
really did just say
anything we were told, without any qualms, if it just helped us
win an election
I
honestly stated that I was very eager to clear my name, but that I
had No comment on the matter
You
know that time I cursed you out? I still mean every single
foul phrase - Exactly as I spoke then
Yes,
I’m certain that Political Correctness is mere cover for the
passive-aggressive, lazy & entitled
Sure
I guiltlessly played the system I condemned for all it was worth and
never
even tried to repair it
I
did question holding the door for equally-paid female
co-workers leaving early again - For their kids
Yes,
we admit that we are not scientists but we also declare their
research inconclusive & inaccurate
I
did not misspeak at all when I eloquently and emotionally
defended my previous prevarications
It
was not a setup when they caught me living large off the
donations from my tearful
non-profit
It
absolutely was not merely a shameful & one-time only moral
lapse to sell my influence to lobbyists
Nobody
hacked my account to contain pictures of myself with those naked
young altar boys
When
they caught me doing drugs with prostitutes it wasn’t the
first time and…I really loved it!
You
bet I really mean it every time I laugh and say we should bomb
the shit out of those damn ayrabs
We
sure as hell should abolish the EPA and give over all federal
lands to developers, drillers & ATVs
It
was no oversight that BigAg destroyed the topsoil, polluted
the waters & poisoned the songbirds
Yes,
we fought removing brain-damaging mercury from coal plant emissions -
To keep our profits up
Certainly
we scorned as ignorant imbeciles, all those losers who bought our
giant overpriced pickups
I
knew my client was guilty of all charges but I still got him
off on an inane technicality, for a fat fee
No,
I mean it: You are slow,
ignorant & nasty & totally deserving of your healthcare
bankruptcy
We
do actually believe that the best solution to gun violence is for
everyone to be armed 24x7x365
I’ll
even say it again, immigrants absolutely must learn
English or provide their own damn translators
Let
me repeat: the unintelligent & uneducated who bristle with
canned attitudes are useless losers
I
really do believe we are an exceptionist people, solely
entitled to the phrase ‘God
Bless America!’
We
actually do push an inane lie that free market healthcare
would compete for the old, sick & poor
Be
advised: We are righteous about spying upon all of your
private activities in absolute secrecy
You
can be sure I did not mean a word of the apology I was forced
to make for political correctness
We
really do want a border wall & to deport the
illegales even as we open our arms to all Latinos
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