I Never Grew Up & I Ain’t Ashamed

Never outgrew my boyish love of those loud exhaust pipes filling the air with their thick, black smoke

The noise and smell of any type of explosives from firecrackers to AK-47s still quickens my heart

Drivin my giant diesel pickup all alone reminds me of my bug-eyed boyhood lovea big red firetrucks

Don’t need to spend time studying the issues any more than I needed to pay any attention in school

Like always, if it tastes good like hot dogs I’ll eat it and to hell with your squirrelly rabbit health food

I still get my kicks watching the big boys knock hell out of each other and now I lay on my own couch

Them intrusive gov’t over-regelaters sure do remind me of my stupid elementary school teachers

I’m living proof that kids don’t have to read books all the dam time to get ahead here in the USA

I’m still being socialized by television, only now it’s good old Faux News instead of just kids TV ads

As the super-rich taught us – being greedy is really just the patriotic pursuit of individual happiness

Yup, and that share and share alike business? That’s just tired socialist pabulum for the Moochers

My lifetime selfishness is still right as rain in this survival of the fittest world we all have to live in

Still running wild and free out in the woods, only now I’m on my dirt bike, snowmobile or ATV

Was taught to put women up on a pedestal so I’m still quite respectful of them topless table dancers

Even though the nannies have always tried to take them all away, I love my guns more than ever now

Thanks to many years spent playing War, I’m ready to bomb the shitake outta any country in our way

When I put on my $200 official NFL jersey I often think back on the boyhood sports I almost played

I only wish we could still beat the crap out of the queers and geeks for fun, just like we used to

My daddy taught us how to fish and I really love going out in my 300 hp bass boat with a case of beer

I’ll tell you what, my dam checking account is as empty as that lame piggy bank ever was - & it’s OK!

I still hate asparagus, broccoli and that type of sh*t, but now I don’t have to eat it to get my dessert

Yup, and I graduated from teeny cans of coke to them 44 oz Big Gulps I always watched Daddy drink

I never liked cleaning up my bedroom so now I leave whatever I want to, out in the front yard

And aint nobody gonna make me go do like calisthenics or any st00pid exercising no more, no how

It’s totally clear now that I never did need to give a dam about all them whatever hindis & fukistanis

And the greenies still cant tell me - What has any stinking polar bear ever done for me?

I put my trash back to the earth just like I always did – I dump it all wherever I’m done with it

People shouting & fighting remain far more interesting than whatever boring reasonable discussions

Now I can carry on anytime, as loud as I want with my bros, specially when we’re havin a few beers

Dont have to wait fer $XMAS ta go charge off whatever new electronic or 4x4 goodie I really want

Still don’t see any reason ta spend half my dam life brushing my teeth or even ever go to the dentist

And I’m as badass as ever despite the bum knees, twisted shoulder, pre-diabetes and sore back

Listen, I really don’t care if I cain’t never figger out the change I got coming from a $20 bill

I still don’t give a dam about whatever 25% off actually means, cuz I know a good deal when I see it

I’ve never forgotten the fact that I am a very entitled citizen of an extremely exceptionist people

And my ideals of jesus christ and His paradise that awaits me are jest as clear now as they ever been

Some Richly-Deserved Side-Effects

“Deserved: Highly merited and just” – Oxford English Dictionary

We’ve always cheered on attention-obsessed, big-lie pushing sociopaths instead of real leaders

Thus, we have earned the right to enjoy repression, poverty & war under their vanity-driven regimes

We demanded ever-increasing dEfense budgets as we patriotically slashed education & entitlements

Guess we shouldn’t be too surprised that some 71% of those aged 17-35 fail military admission tests

Coal marketeers assured us mountain top removal, mercury & CO2 emissions were safe for families

So ADHD kids cough as we adjust thermostats to T-shirt comfort in record heat, under polluted skies

They promised us the better jobs of tomorrow and lots of savings when they sent our jobs overseas

But, instead now they offshore both engineering and design just to keep their huge bonuses flowing

Big Oil said fracking would patriotically yield us clean Energy Independence from greedy arab sheiks

Really, they’re sticking us with no alternatives and the cleanup exporting that Energy Independence

You always sarcastically dismissed their socialist nannying over smoking, obesity and lack of exercise

OK, but diabetes got your foot, just breathing is hard and your heart is simply shot-Happy Ever After!

You proudly made damn sure they never passed any form of gun control WhatSoEver - Gotnam it!

But they watch your every move & know all about your guns, when you use them & how to take them

Yes, you’ve stockpiled guns & ammo against gov’t drones and those black UN helicopters in the night

But I’ll bet you’d just wind up shooting each other over food scraps from your faux-military pickups

You spent thousands of hours at boring jobs ‘just can’t waiting for’ that next big 3 day weekend

But you can’t remember which from when and somehow most of the selfies got lost on your phone

You knew better than to waste precious tax$ on that, whatever it was, national infrastructure scam

So it’s cool that the water’s bad, the roads are worn out, the grid is broken and the internet is slow

You scornfully reject that dam Obamacare – Yup, to hell with them moochers and gov’t death panels!

But you did wind up paying a parasite lawyer to guide you thru your healthcare-induced bankruptcy

You spent thousands playing the fool just to be sure your precious children would be your friends

Apparently it worked cause now it looks like they’re back home to stay: 30ish, jobless & in debt

With all the cool stuff you really needed, you never even saved enough for one family emergency

Then, your unexpected forced early retirement at 55 left you deep in debt, depressed and unhealthy

Corporate scientists introduced many time & money-saving chemicals they never had to safety test

Now all our kids are lazy, autistic, sickly slow learners and we’re all obese & pre-cancerous

It was easy to ascribe the terrible sufferings of others to your omnipotent God’s mysterious ways

Feels different now that you’re weak & old, the wife’s demented and your kids only call for money

You always said you’d never want to live to be 60 and those old people had a for-real duty to pass

Turns out that 80 is the new 60 since every new expensive medical trick is paid for by your Medicare

You derisively rejected their calls to recycle and smirkingly dumped your household toxics as well

If your dumbdowned heaven existed, you’d see grandkids cursing you as they mine your filthy legacy

You studied only pointless sports stats, twisted political soundbites and smarmy blockbuster lines

Got any hipster clichés now as you lay, tubes going in and out, so very still & pale-On your deathbed?

From Beneath The Surface

Did not have the time to say it all

So I learned I must stay real small

Just tried to make sense of what I knew

In the end I saw just how foolish it all grew

Could not stay to help their grieving

Flies commenced to buzz as I was leaving

Guess I was lost this whole damn way

No wonder I never planned out where I’d lay

Laid out looking up at all them stars

Their blue was cold and that black was far

Felt tiny snowflakes dancing upon my nose

dreams touched my heart while I dozed

Came across those things that you uncovered

Watched sand blow over what I discovered

Saw the river’s ancient canyon stage

As I divided my years by this world’s age

Learned to pause yet I never stopped

Thought I could listen while I hopped

Saw speckled horses and an old log fence

Finally got used to things not making sense

The pieces you found did not quite match up with mine

It merely seemed we all pursued different lines

Stayed a while where the dust was clean

Til they sped by in new and shiny, closed machines

Began to howl to spread my sad news

Never did gamble, but still learned to lose

I might have come from any gypsy stock

Carved out our initials upon that rock

Turned it all quite upside down on purpose

Things looked blurry from beneath the surface

Looked for myself on snowy mountains

Most found my anger quite astounding

Scuffled savagely over smallest scraps

Licked my wounds between hungry naps

Lost the race I never knew began

My hair grew too wild and my face too thin

Lay drugged and watched my fluids fill their tubes

Ran all day, back when my joints were lubed

Lost all those memories I had finally gathered

Thought I got soaked but was merely spattered

Could not stay quiet as we all stood still

Made things harder thanks to my foolish will

Felt the grace in those huge blue swells

Helped myself and left my kids the bill

Knew in my gut that it all must end

Had neither time to help nor money to lend

At last I grew just a little thankful

Finally realized I owed this monstrous toll

Had a blurry vision of me off in peace and light

Began to wake up sweaty in the dark of night

Tried hard to change it all for good

Everything hurt when I finally understood

For a while it seemed things might just improve

Then came the morning my legs would not move

Crushed fine objects in darkness stumbling

Things got broke whenever I started fumbling

Studied empty scenes of starkest devastation

Heard sisters whispering over my evisceration

Overheard the voice of their gods almighty

Grew sad to realize they did not speak to me

Ruined many fine things in my short time

Under the patient trees I relived my prime

Always spiced up my own plain food

Came across as chiseled out just a bit too crude

Took a hard fall and badly twisted a firm belief

She thought me wise but I merely sought relief

It grew too smoky to recover any left-behinds

Questioned their ways and was treated less than kind

Never took warm comfort from friends or family

But clutched at them all as I slowly slipped away

Cast widely for some sanity with a narrow beam of reason

Got mixed up by faith and lost my way amid broken dreams

The Waltzing Dead

In 2050, the <US> population aged 65 and over is projected to be 83.7 million - www.census.gov

See them shuffling slowly out of assisted living, squinting against the sun, groping for entitlements

Seeking out all sorts of doctors simply in order to have a human, anyone to just keep talking at

Fumbling continually for their reading glasses so they can call you once again, for an hour or two

Herding in limping troops towards earlybird cafeteria dinner specials, every afternoon at four

Huddled in volunteer clutches mindlessly repeating make-work civic duties, so very, very slowly

Gulping vast quantities of placebo supplements in a totally vain attempt to regain their youth

Bent over in shiny new sportscars, burning bald spots, bulky sunglasses covering dead eyes

Spiky white hairs sprouting in every direction from their ears and noses aid in locating their victims

Angrily sharing incriminating pictures from their methodical, daily dog turd inspection tours

So weakened by a long decay that they just keep telling the same tired stories over and over again

Displaying their rank in the stability-clutching pack by the size & number of their liver spots

Reaching out to hug you with arthritis-twisted fingers while first calling you by 3 other names

Pausing urgently every 20 minutes with the need to relieve themselves, yet again

White-haired, wrinkled, shriveled & pale - all ethnicities looking so very scarily, all the same

Stumbling through the mall in their giant no-lace athletic shoes, searching for conversational prey

Mumbling the names of 1800 costly Medicare-financed drugs they need to Ask Their Doctor About

Viciously attacking small children who accidentally take a step on their far-too-perfect lawns

Hypnotized by 24x7 televiewing into ceaseless, demetia-inducing repetition of Faux News soundbites

Unremitting in their howls for death to moochers and angry warnings to leave their Medicare alone

Drooling from the side-effects of potent anti-psychotic meds given to keep them still & compliant

See them painfully searching out the handicapped-friendly at Wal*Mart in wheelchairs & walkers

Their plaque-infested brains bringing on a brutal & obscene honesty which must be hidden away

Nonetheless, they clamor for supersized doses of Viagra and ineffective cosmetic facial surgeries

Laid out on stretchers, they are carted off by bored EMTs as their peers gawk amid pained whispers

Far, far too eager for everyone to start appreciating the vital importance of their bowel movements

Starting to watch their health - after 3 heart attacks, high blood pressure & obesity-caused diabetes

Unashamed of any of the 14 government-subsidized drugs they take like communion, 3 times a day

Desperately seeking only to recapture simple normalcy in a society that has no use for them, at all

A Silent and Empty Darkness

After one very brief and flashy little leap, we all simply fall back into that eternally unconscious void

No eyes to ogle any of their oh-so wondrous latest offerings

No more ears to be tingled by even the most of those lilting advertising jingles

Nor any of their hypnotizing colored lights to be seen at all

No voice left to spout one last meaningless sports stat, movie line or rap lyric

No longer will anyone hear your so very smooth pitch for overpriced dream homes

No implanted marketing illusions can ever penetrate your undefined point in the void

No blind lusting after the latest New & Improved, anymore, ever again

Nevermore to asskiss, backbite & shoulderclimb towards furtively-anonymous corporate glory

No more braying with that loudly-drunken laughter, far too long after midnight

No longer to mass hallucinate some fanciful personal savior’s voice, inside an otherwise empty head

Never again to suffer from that painful envy over someone else’s latest purchase

Nor any upward mobility, whatsoever - For there are no directions at all in that boundless emptiness

No cinematic tears or canned laughter can ever stir your so quickly-evaporated emotions

No more boring holidays with that dysfunctional, blended family

Not a single witless meme can you snarkily help to unconsciously viralize

No longer a need for all those Big Boy petro-toys to keep you so very fully and so lamely distracted

Nevermore any of those oh-so senseless Corpro-Sport cash cow Big Games to impatiently await

Not once more to read even one juicy Hollywood headline to bandy about over coffee

No more poisoned pounds to gain while flopping about heavily on that overloaded old couch

Not even one more truth-twisting paid soundbite will you be able to uncritically parrot - ever again

No way to pimp any more highly-innovative, morally-bankrupt financial investment innovations

No way, or duty, to remember such important priorities as birthdays, anniversaries & tax deadlines

Not the faintest memory left, even if only to be quickly forgotten, from your precious tho wasted life

None from the pettiest to the noblest of any of your few, though quite muddled, thoughts remain

Nevermore to suffer even the slightest double beef-bacon-cheeseburger hunger pang again

No longer to strive valiantly to save time – All that time which you never got to spend, in any case

No unquestioned patriotism left with which to defend our exceptionist nation’s precious sovereignty

No agonized, childlike waiting for all those quickly-forgotten & thoroughly-wasted weekends

No longer to be plagued by that vast liberal media conspiracy striving to nanny your very thoughts

Not even one brand of comical religious control fantasy available to artificially comfort you

No more everlasting love to be proven once again, with costly diamonds & vapid luxury cruises

No longer able, or ever again needing, to put off those frightening questions that actually mattered

No Happily-Ever-After to re-finance one more time, with no money down

Yes, never again to emerge from a guaranteed absolutely dreamless & commercial-free, eternity

There Was A Time...Then We “Grew Up”

There was a time, not too long ago, when it seemed we could get things to make sense, once again

But, now, dear friends, as we grow so old so quickly, it’s gotten far too late to make any real amends

We had our chances and our great potentials, lives starting out below clear skies and fresh rainbows

That was a time before the pursuit of our happiness morphed into a vapid, blind & destructive greed

We had a chance to make a difference but instead chose to lurk beneath a dark corporate anonymity

But there really was a time when it would not have to have turned out in this reckless & empty way

It is not evil that drives us now, but rather a hedonistic, shortsighted lifestyle filled with empty noise

As CEOs, huge bonuses met by a responsibility to stockholders for short term profits became our goal

Once we stood tall, lean, long-haired & clear-eyed with a mind to make things better in this world

Now our strength lies in an angry bellowing catechism of for-profit Faux News Neocon soundbites

We looked upon our elders as some strange & alien race with which we had nothing in common

Today we friend our kids, expensively trying to curry their favor as we helicopter their every step

There was a time when we learned to work with our hands – building, repairing and improving

Now our people do all that sort of thing for us, our precious time being far too valuable to squander

Once we cooked for ourselves & others without any factory food containing 50 or more ingredients

Today, the processed food industry meets our needs from Natural to Lean and everything in between

We were filled with yearning for the Great West and hitched all across the Intermountain wonderland

Currently our vacations are lame cruise ships, lumbering RVs or tacky, polluted tourist destinations

Our work had to challenge us, make a difference and contribute to some kind of progress for society

We morphed into a herd of brown-nosed suckups, shoulder-climbing & down-kicking towards success

There was a time when we searched for soul mates to walk with beneath that rainbow for a lifetime

Laying awake after another brutal verbal slugfest we wonder - Where has that other person gone?

Peace and good brotherhood would help remake the world in a kinder, gentler and safer way

Now we uncritically support each dEfense increase and clamor to bomb places we can’t find on maps

Somehow we didn’t think it was stupid or useless to study earth science to try & help save the planet

Luckily, we got our MBAs part-time at night and worked our way up to empty project manager jobs

Long ago learned the lesson that alcohol was a whole lot more dangerous than Mexican ditch weed

Graduated to designer vodka martinis every freakin night and learned to mainly ignore the hangovers

Took up meditation and brain wave control with an eye towards cultivating an inner spiritual growth

Now we make irreversible and guilt-free decisions in private council with our mass Personal Saviors

Took long hikes & backpacking trips far out into the glorious mountain wilderness savoring the silence

Now we clamor for all our national lands to be accessible to our unmuffled ATVs & snowmachines

Spent years trying to become educated reading hundreds & hundreds of diverse authors & subjects

All information is now but a simple click away and we no longer require any studious concentration

We would hold politicians to high standards of decency, honesty and morality, for the good of us all

Now we parrot their marketer’s soundbites & vote for those whose masters outsource our way of life

Devolution

- Descent or degeneration to a lower or worse state

Today there’s something to those pictures that makes me already look old & faded, even way back then

Always keeping so very busy engendered in me a background sense of comforting permanency

I ran the suburbs like a vast personal savanna and then crouched in front of TV like some smoky fire

Striped cat purred on top that old wool blanket on my tired lap during a tiny fractal eddy of forever

In the morning the world seemed born again until I rejoined the angry herd, in the smog, once again

The dew, though tainted with our mistakes, still made things look very fresh and wondrously clean

My takeout beliefs had grown cold and stale just when I needed their nourishment the most

I was unconsciously framing an apology even as I lashed out in blind rage for the 9 millionth time

Swirling into a hungover consciousness, I vowed one more time that it would never happen again

I grew confused as to what year we went where on which, long-anticipated 3 day holiday weekend

I kissed her again for the first time on that golden October afternoon, knowing she was gone forever

Given our circumstances, I found my almost daily depression normal, and my rare happiness a mystery

It wasn’t until long afterward that I realized how late it had already grown, even so long ago

Slowly I convinced myself I had lost my way, though really I never had a clue as to where I was headed

As my youthful anger slowly aged to a foolish bitterness, I still hoped to distill a few drops of wisdom

Even as we made our eternal vows we both knew that simple time alone would unthinkingly undo them

My seeming hardened indifference sprang simply from my being overwhelmed by insoluble issues

My safe habits had worn a familiar groove in a very small part of an infinity of frightening possibilities

I studied myself as I slowly devolved back into that dimensionless point from which I had no memories

I saw the four short seasons of my life morphing to an endless and dreamless, dark winter’s night sleep