It Aint Jest That Fool Climate Change

Like that wadnt aready enuf ta make the avurege NFL fan sickta his dam stumach…

By their waya thinkin were jest drownin in all kinda like kittystrophic events jest about ta come true

They say thers some kinda global mass estintion goin on all around us and they claim were causin it

Ya got them thousandsa unregelated, manmade kemikals mixin up everwher causin cancer in babies

Yer leftwing neow-nazis believe our savur-ordained fruitfulness is outta control & overuinin the earth

Theys even wackosa tryin ta make ya blieve that $hafa triyion a year fer our dEfense is way too much

And were spossed ta pay ta fix up the shittin roads, dams, bridges, lektrik, water & innernet, too?

Like Im really worried about them stripminin the oceans and fillinem up with that micro plastic litter

Our BigAg soil stewarts wunit overuse warter, fertilizer & pesticide jist fer ther stock-based bonuses

Look, jest cuz the kids caint do percents or read leglese don’t mean they aint tamarras world leadurs

Why shud we even believe that breast milk is lousy with whoremoans from our plastic & lektronics?

I aint got time ta fret on some hoaxy clean drinkin water shortage them vegans are bawlin over now

Tetnolagy’ll solve any issues arisin over needin ta grow more food on less land fer 2bln more hindis

You bet I’m takin the threata acid in the oceans hurtin seashells real, real serious. Uh-huh.

I been losin sleep frettin over the 5 poundsa trash each of us tosses out ever day, that’s fore shore

Yeah, I almost got some time ta worry about ther habytat distruction crisis, whatever that is, anyway

But, I jest do gotta ask one more time – What’s any stinkin polar bear ever done fer me?

like they say, our lafstyle alone is robbin our kids of any chancea reachin they true potentuls: Right..

They think we caint tell butween that vast libral media conspirucy & red meat, no-spin Faux News

Ooooh, I’m like soooo worried about whatever cow antibotics creatin bugs what cud eat off my leg

Stayin up late frettin over them asiens out there stripminin the oceans – Hey! I hate fish dicks anyway

Right, like goodod Clean Coal cud somehow put whatever mercury all up in our baby’s little brains

And the Libs are tryin ta convince me that our good conservative leadrs are owned by corprations

Jest the othur day theys some wack scientest lyin bout ever gallona diesel I burn givin off 19lbsa CO₂

Anaways, I jest keep buyin up guns & ammo cuz I jest know them yella vegans wanna take em away

Oh, and, were loadin up on tofu, kale, green tea and such sh*t, too: Cuz they say its whats fer dinner

Yup, they want us ta be skinny & weak like them - But I’m takin a cue from the big boys of my NFL

We got our Medicaid & SSDI so we aint worried about no probly fishunal doctur & nurse shortages

And, the good news is, I can get me a script fer vicadin or percaset if my teeth get ta hurtin too bad

Jesus, now were spossed ta get all teary eyed about some gotdam fireflies dyin off?

Whado I care how much air pollushun them swarmin asien hords create makin producs fer Wal*Mart?

And jest what shud I do about them slum dwellers movin inta that amazon jungle & burnin it down?

Oh, and watch out! – them giant pig & chicken farms are like chokin the life outta our rivers and bays

Um, BTW, alla them skinny vegan scare tactics regardin overeatin on sugar, salt & fat – Absulute BS!

& This incume inequality biness - Jest one more socialist scare tactic ta gin up more nanny regelatin

Them ragheads aint never comin to open up on us down ta our Wal*Mart or in the Sonic drive thrus -

Cuz all we gotta do is jest bomb the shit outta them ayrabs & get on with Traditional Family Values®

The Unholy Triad: Unintelligence, Ignorance & Attitude

Scorned be those who are at once alternatively-gifted, lack an education and yet, still bristle loudly with unassailable attitude

Unintelligence

All of us are very gifted in some manner, but mostly in ways that society has not found a profitable and thus, economically valuable, use for. Intelligence tests are full of cultural bias and still only measure a narrow range of human capabilities. One’s IQ also bears no relation to their morality, kindness, citizenship or grace.

Ignorance

Anyone deprived of a decent education, intelligent or not, will suffer from ignorance. In fact, all of us are ignorant on infinitely more subjects than those for which we can claim knowledge. Any education which fosters critical thinking reduces the perils of ignorance when facing novelty, advertising or politicians.

Attitude

A ruthless honesty combined with a lack of tact, though abrasive, can cut straight to the truth. Merely being politically incorrect is not some form of immorality, as backbiting sheep would have us believe. The impatient & those quick to anger are, quite often, among our very highest performers.

But: Let it be known:

The constant loud, proud and uncritical mouthing of indisputable and unquestioned beliefs by those

low in the form of intelligence required for rational thinking and deprived of a proper education cannot be reasoned with and is seriously difficult to interact with.

Alternatively-Gifted, Like Me

I’m one of the multi-generational, alternatively-gifted kids without any type of a HeadStart program

None of my school teachers expected anything of me but they still always bumped me right on thru

I was denied any opportunity to take the fancy AP classes so I socialized away my time in high school

The army shunted me straight into the Infantry without any possibility for Officer Candidate School

It’s just not fair that their fancy STEMI education programs blatantly exclude the regular kids like me

Til now, we never even dreamed of demanding our rights to a fair share of the knowledge-based jobs

Politicos have always stoked our hopes & fears while letting us be outsourced as disposable moochers

Advertisers have conned us for generations with cleverly-misleading lines & whatever 25% off means

Slower to suckup & shoulderclimb that corpro-ladder, at last we call for our own Affirmative Action

No more being taken advantage of just because we don’t talk as fast or as convincingly as our leaders

We’ve been slaves, grunts & laborers since time immemorial but now - We demand boardroom seats

It’s very prejudiced that so many more of us go to jail simply because our crimes are easier to solve

My teachers nudged me off the route to college but offered me no alternative path to the good life

They keep us in line with pro sports, loud pickups, cheap beer and 8 grocery store snack food aisles

But we didnt get those bonuses, free health, dental & vision coverage at our low-skill, dead-end jobs

They did fill us with a violent patriotism & dead certainty that we should dump our trash in the creek

Look, just because I’m not a good reader doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be in that big corner office

There’s only 0.1% of high-powered CEOS with IQs in the range I’m advocating for…and it’s just wrong!

I mean, we represent well over half the population but have less than 12% of the nation’s wealth

Put me in a $thousand suit & I could be going to all like them big meetings & power lunches, too

But, Nao, they’re just holding us down because of different type connections between our brain cells

It just isn’t right & it must stop – I mean the disabled have the ADA, so where’s our promotion quota?

We’ll be petitioning for our own national holiday or at least something similar to black history month

& leaders must stop allowing the alternatively-gifted to also remain ignorant just to control us easier

They absolutely must replace the 20 pages of tiny legalese with little pictures, like on our cellphones

We might yet realize there’s more to human potential than pickups, snowmachines, ATVs and jetskis

The deck has always been stacked against us in this evil Social Darwinism that pervades all societies

Look, we demand reparations for our historic & ongoing enslavement at the hands of those in power

Listen, this intelligence bias is dealt blindly to all races, genders, sexual orientations and age groups

Yes, and what of all the People of size who must fight Unintelligence Intolerance at the same time?

And the billions of the Appearance-Impaired who also struggle against prejudical intelligence norms?

We’re not even going into the blatant IQ bias & crude sexism in that host of dumb-blonde jokes

So why is it then, that our smoking, drinking & obesity rates are so high? Discrimination, that’s why!

The only ones of us allowed economic equality are those with that smiling fanatical salesman’s greed

It’s all part of the embedded unintelligentism permeating our narrow-minded societal pecking order

This world must be simplified in our image so we can finally begin to have our fair share of success!