So Many Ways I Lost My Way

I simply could not locate that must-have, on-sale eToy of my dreams - Though I saw that others had

Then, with no service bars and no wi-fi in range, I really hadn’t the slightest idea which way to turn

At home, something was wrong, all we could click up were the 300 loser channels we never watched

I grew confused by the media hydra of conflicting opinions, all spewed out as gospel & patriotic truth

I could not find our cart amid what seemed to be thousands of crowded & labyrinthic Wal*Mart aisles

Stumbling clumsily through all the rubble, I noticed it did not matter anymore, which way I turned

One day, mouthing buzzphrases, I didnt know if I was a progressive liberal or a conservative hardliner

Suddenly one evening, stuck on the freeway, I realized that no exit could ever take me home again

Got hammered and woke up parked by a smelly, overflowing dumpster at some rundown apartments

Lost my way staring into the sun pilgrimaging thru their fly-plagued & god-forsaken desert holy lands

Tried believing each & every political ad but that only led me into a maze of hilarious contradictions

Riding my new ATV onto BLM lands, I strayed off into a tangle of god-fearing, libertarian bandit trails

Grew confused wondering why there was so much hatred between so many, so similar, religious sects

Never could locate those 1% CEOs scuttling off roach-like to hide beneath a dark corporate anonymity

Wasn’t sure who to turn to when my kids stopped being my friends & my wife got the menopause

When I received my diagnosis, I suddenly realized how alone I was, right in the middle of everybody

After my 4^th layoff & downsizing, I considered I might be off the path to that Happily-Ever-After

When my doctor & insurance company both cut me off I turned to a faith in God for all my ills & bills

Grew ever more bewildered just trying to obey that needlessly massive & criminally cryptic tax code

When alcohol failed to comfort me I groped in wild desperation for my own mass personal savior teat

Blinded for years by the lies of a liberal media I was barely able to see the light of right wing gospel

The issues all seemed very complex but luckily the pithy Tweets of trusted media leaders led me thru

I couldn’t locate the hated enemy’s land on a map but I knew our drones would find their evil targets

In a moment of deathbed lucidity, I saw the endless sales of the Very Latest had lead me only to this

Couldn’t figure out why, though all the boxes & cans got smaller, the prices were not lowered at all

Never understood how so many people kept living in filth on a dollar a day - without any hope at all

Didn’t make sense that the government subsidized snack foods and paid for my diabetes & SSDI

Quit trying to figure out why our spending power decreased even while heroic CEOs grew ever richer

Got lost in the acres of giant pickups each parked & ready to clumsily haul one fat commuter around

Never again was the man I only thought I had been before I blew out my knee - Unloading groceries

Went astray in my pursuit of individual happiness what with all the noise, smoke, litter & neon lights

Did not see how bursting into girl’s elementary schools with AK-47s blazing punished the Great Satan

Finally got time to go over to Ma’s, but it was all dark & dirty like nobody’d been there for months

When I momentarily lost my faith I was quickly paralyzed by scores of painfully-conflicting soundbites

I’m pretty damn sure that Lotto ticket I lost last year was my Triple Pick, retirement-funding winner

So, with all the confusion in the herd it was no real surprise I lost my own personal sense of direction