So Many Ways I Lost My Way

I simply could not locate that must-have, on-sale eToy of my dreams - Though I saw that others had

Then, with no service bars and no wi-fi in range, I really hadn’t the slightest idea which way to turn

At home, something was wrong, all we could click up were the 300 loser channels we never watched

I grew confused by the media hydra of conflicting opinions, all spewed out as gospel & patriotic truth

I could not find our cart amid what seemed to be thousands of crowded & labyrinthic Wal*Mart aisles

Stumbling clumsily through all the rubble, I noticed it did not matter anymore, which way I turned

One day, mouthing buzzphrases, I didnt know if I was a progressive liberal or a conservative hardliner

Suddenly one evening, stuck on the freeway, I realized that no exit could ever take me home again

Got hammered and woke up parked by a smelly, overflowing dumpster at some rundown apartments

Lost my way staring into the sun pilgrimaging thru their fly-plagued & god-forsaken desert holy lands

Tried believing each & every political ad but that only led me into a maze of hilarious contradictions

Riding my new ATV onto BLM lands, I strayed off into a tangle of god-fearing, libertarian bandit trails

Grew confused wondering why there was so much hatred between so many, so similar, religious sects

Never could locate those 1% CEOs scuttling off roach-like to hide beneath a dark corporate anonymity

Wasn’t sure who to turn to when my kids stopped being my friends & my wife got the menopause

When I received my diagnosis, I suddenly realized how alone I was, right in the middle of everybody

After my 4^th layoff & downsizing, I considered I might be off the path to that Happily-Ever-After

When my doctor & insurance company both cut me off I turned to a faith in God for all my ills & bills

Grew ever more bewildered just trying to obey that needlessly massive & criminally cryptic tax code

When alcohol failed to comfort me I groped in wild desperation for my own mass personal savior teat

Blinded for years by the lies of a liberal media I was barely able to see the light of right wing gospel

The issues all seemed very complex but luckily the pithy Tweets of trusted media leaders led me thru

I couldn’t locate the hated enemy’s land on a map but I knew our drones would find their evil targets

In a moment of deathbed lucidity, I saw the endless sales of the Very Latest had lead me only to this

Couldn’t figure out why, though all the boxes & cans got smaller, the prices were not lowered at all

Never understood how so many people kept living in filth on a dollar a day - without any hope at all

Didn’t make sense that the government subsidized snack foods and paid for my diabetes & SSDI

Quit trying to figure out why our spending power decreased even while heroic CEOs grew ever richer

Got lost in the acres of giant pickups each parked & ready to clumsily haul one fat commuter around

Never again was the man I only thought I had been before I blew out my knee - Unloading groceries

Went astray in my pursuit of individual happiness what with all the noise, smoke, litter & neon lights

Did not see how bursting into girl’s elementary schools with AK-47s blazing punished the Great Satan

Finally got time to go over to Ma’s, but it was all dark & dirty like nobody’d been there for months

When I momentarily lost my faith I was quickly paralyzed by scores of painfully-conflicting soundbites

I’m pretty damn sure that Lotto ticket I lost last year was my Triple Pick, retirement-funding winner

So, with all the confusion in the herd it was no real surprise I lost my own personal sense of direction

When The Dump Burns Again

I’ll stay out here with you when the dump burns again

We’ll all be together when there aint no more MacNuggets

Still be by your side when all the Wal*Marts close down

And we’ll shuffle off to nowhere on streets with no traffic

We’ll sit and just watch as the next sandstorm approaches

Marvel at the difference with so many less people

May god bless us and keep us in merciful ignorance & poverty

And, lo, I will come fetch you when this rodeo’s over

Ask for me where every moonrise looks quite upside down

Walk with us to enjoy a bloody red, slaughterhouse sunset

Help us stack this old cardboard into our newest shelters

Laugh with us when we realize nothing will ever make sense

Give up your privacy for our sacred national security

Grab a place in any new line without even first asking why

He’ll be back soon – and He’ll be bringing us money & hope

But for now, just watch them parade til the dump burns again

Up above, colorful balloons will still keep us amused

Then it’s off to California with our guns and old bible

We’ll guzzle factory spring water & toss away the plastic bottles

We’ll kill for our god cause He said the infidels must pay

My sister is a saint but your mothers are all dirty whores

Off in the future, I often hear the grandchildren curse us

Stay back from the windows cause they’re still throwing bricks

See the dump burn again from our pink plastic lawnchairs

We’ll sleep in old SUVs & gnaw rancid Slim-Jims

I’ll shoot first and ask later, if I hear anything move

We’ll wonder with others what happened ta them Hollywood stars

It wont be too long fore none of the kids read at all

We’ll finally get away from them intrusive over-regelaters

But when we ransack the stores, the stuff sure does stink

We’ll fight over Twinkies but we wont find no more beer

Tell us again how sweet your big shiny pickup once sounded

When the dump burns again we’ll scatter like some uncovered bugs

But, there’ll be no time for sorrow with so much blood on our hands

We’ll stone those furtive CEOs who led us astray in fine suits

And the kids just won’t stop asking – Do we all really live only to suffer?

Thinking Like The Snow

With every single breath we take, we inhale a single molecule from Caesar's last breath - www.hk-phy.org

So, soon enough I’ll be thinking like all the other snowflakes as we drift gently down in all directions

Yes, and as long as the wind still blows, I’ll be wandering happily within it, everywhere it goes

Searching out dark corners to illuminate along with the many rays of sunlight arriving with the Spring

Circulating with the great ocean currents in the grand pursuit of some unconscious enlightenment

See me roil in wild and muddy Spring torrents, for I shall increase their fury from within a single drop

Even then I will also help to create the brooding silence that rules in that vast & dark boreal forest

Quite soon now I’ll share the wisdom gained by winter storms as we cross that one vast world sea

I’ll internalize patience in my time spent as a molecule locked within a billion year old granite rock

I’ll become an experienced cosmic voyager traveling with photons, right on up to the speed of light

You’ll see me get all excited, taking thrill rides inside of shooting stars, even as you wish upon them

The ignorant pride in my own uniqueness will vanish as I take a number alongside every grain of sand

I’ll practice a true humility flowing underfoot, down littered streets, carrying away their filthy runoff

I will be reborn once again as the tiniest part of those meaningful dream images drawn in the clouds

Participating in the miracle of photosynthesis within a blade of grass, I will, at last, go truly green

Just so, will you inhale me right along with the mercury emissions of your beloved coal powerplants

And watch me blow away right along with all the litter we so guiltlessly discard for others to enjoy

I am certain never to feel lonely being the very smallest part of your echo in an empty desert canyon

I’ll witness the great spectacle of infrared, xray and gamma radiations in their full natural splendor

No longer will I need to clear my mind of petty distractions in a struggle to realize that great Tao

And the end of our solar system will, at last, liberate me from the bonds of earth’s puny gravity

The effects of my life will spread outward like the echo of the Big Bang - both chemically & socially

And though they slowly attenuate forever, they can only asymptotically approach absolutely nothing

And anyone I contact, directly or indirectly, spreads my mindless influence at near the quantum level

I’ll be looking out thru your eyes and seeing everything, without the need to perceive anything, at all

But, in time, I become part of the background noise, inseparable, yet helping mask the real signals

Some day physicists might detect my presence…just as they located the ripples from the Big Bang

But then I won’t be in such a state as to have any need, or even the ability, to consciously respond…

Still, the light in my eyes travels on, independent of the darkness to which I returned, so long ago

Watch me thrive with the young and perish with the old without a trace of joy - Or the slightest fear

Hear the sounds I bring and see the images I help comprise, for I am part of any meaning you derive

I will participate in chemical reactions both great and small and shall not fear any long-term effects

But, toxics that I so casually dumped will long ripple thru the ecosystem & up & down the food chain

See me reincarnated in that line of sunlight across the center of a perfectly breaking Hawaiian swell

I will celebrate great victories even as I mourn terrible losses…though never knowing any difference

Morality will not concern me for I will be part of everything that’s good and bad - Absolutely equally

It’s only that I just won’t know who I am, where I’m headed or where it is, that I have ever been…

Not So Happy Trails

The homely gas clerk loved donuts with Big Gulps and smoked 2 cigarettes during each short break

She had no benefits but did get diabetes at 35, already 70 pounds overweight

She was dismissed for missing shifts too often…to sit in line for hours down at the local ER

The Righteously Conservative Evangelical developed a hungry colon cancer

He sold off his plumbing company and moved into a brand new Florida condo

He still talks to his Personal Savior and listens to The Fox there, bedridden on the third floor

The Engineer worked as if it really meant something for way too many years

He is summarily dismissed early one hot and bright July morning

He shuffles out with his treasured technical books and detailed, but fantasy plans for retribution

Mother nurtures her manchild who comes quite handsomely of age

That son is then very suddenly conscripted to join a war a world away

Mother grows old in a hurry, just waiting for a word

The Soldier trains diligently with his unit such that all will kill and not be killed together

He dies wincing in pain without ever seeing his enemy

His comrades resolve that, no matter what their cause, he must not die in vain

The Farmer toils quietly in the Spring and throughout a long, hot Summer

The army comes with guns and takes away his harvest

In a late December darkness, the farmer must sadly eat the seeds for next year’s planting

The Programmer worked under constant pressure, always behind on some artificial deadline

He off-shored mind still racing, he sits too quietly and alone in his empty room

He realizes shortly that, for all his feverish work, he is left him less than nothing

The old career Politician retires with all the due honor of his peers

He goes back to the place he called home, where he hasn’t really lived for 30 years

He finds he has no more deals to cut, statements to make or favors to repay

An aging Salesman is kicked to the curb when he no longer meets his quota

He still shaves and dresses nattily with a new joke every morning

But there will be no more responses to his numerous inquiries for positions

That senile Doctor made foolish errors that others had to cover up

The medical society quiets the furor and drafts his retirement letter

Now the people merely smile when he gruffly orders them around

The Captain of Industry is dismissed from his lofty penthouse suite following a financial scandal

His golden parachute floats him down into a wondrous sunset

Now, he lies awake in his locked compound avenging the imagined slights of former suck-ups

A common day Laborer cannot keep up the grinding pace in the terrible heat

He is no longer chosen from the long line of illegales seeking work

His dreams of returning home to buy a little hacienda must now be forgotten

A Lawyer grows disgusted with the person he has become

He is sickened by his greed and the alcohol-laced emptiness of his work

Comically, his mind seeks a judicial remedy for the self-loathing that has filled him

The former bomber Pilot flying cushily for the airlines faces a mandatory retirement

He looks forward to his well-earned, very generous pension and expensive travel perqs

Villages he bombed so long ago from far above without even seeing still remain in the stone age

The dissipated Real Estate Agent finally loses her last listing

She no longer has any glamour left with which to con them like she used to

Yet she cannot forego her lifestyle and quickly falls hopelessly into foolish credit card debt

A once razor-sharp Professor has his class load reduced to nothing

His agile mind was the envy of both faculty and students

Now he quizzes his patient wife many times a day regarding what they’ll have for dinner

The one-time all-star Athlete hung on until he was unceremoniously released

He misses the adulation and has no other interests, skills or savings

So, he drinks and gambles and sells some autographs, until his liver simply quits

That Man of God who, for years, led us down the righteous path is gone

He is but the shrunken, almost comic, image of his once-imposing figure

Now his children quarrel nastily over the estate and the income his name still produces

Though he was a Handsome Leading Man, now he is even denied a grandfather’s bit part

His loyal agent left him when he broke his hip and had to get a wheelchair

His young wife spends time with her gigolo as others manicure her tiny, snow white poodle

A Teacher for almost 40 years she still lectures anyone who happens by

She is active in the church and volunteers at election polling places

Occupied by the young for so long, now she strives to comprehend new lessons of her own

A happy-to-grovel Middle Manager, he was despised by both his direct reports and his bosses

They downsized him cleanly off their crisp and tidy new Org Chart, without a second thought

Those at the top reaped bonuses and he did finally get a part-time Temp job in Interior Lighting

The Office Bitch who terrorized us for 20 years but worked her ass off has finally gone to pasture

Her aggressive honesty a spiny affront to the false political correctness which we all hid behind

But, as it finally turned out, she did have something better to do than to simply irritate us

Just Outside Our Pre-Programmed Maya

Maya – fr. Sanskrit, The illusory reality of the material world

Dirty rain can’t penetrate the pavement, so it quickly washes our wastes straight down to the rivers

Our billion tiny non-point sources are an uncontrolled runoff into their unsafe drinking water intakes

The magnitude of the devastation would simply overwhelm our minds, so we just smile and carry on

We are as hungry dreaming automatons meeting our simple swarm needs in strictly programmed ways

The vast fecal output of the mega-chicken farms leaches off & turns the bays & water supplies green

Every single home drips a thousand different chemicals, each and every time it rains

The innocent pigs imprisoned by the thousands stamp their contaminated waste into the groundwater

Model families spray poison on their flowers and over-apply everything to their artificial bluegrass

Abandoned sites still filter PCBs into streams and bays as well as into the flesh of nearby inhabitants

But, we are assured, this poison uptake issue cannot cross the species line separating us from animals

A dead space the size of Massachusetts is excreted from the Mississippi’s anus we call New Orleans

We tack up flimsy cellophane protective barriers around the new chancres of our ongoing progress

We roar across the shrunken Western reservoirs drunkenly shouting above our 500 horsepower din

Meanwhile, hot desert winds harshly evaporate the precious water at an astoundingly rapid pace

And yet, every single drop is spoken for, spoken for several times, in over-allocated state compacts

So, we clean out their upstream poopie but still drink of their vast array of chemicals and hormones

Turns out it’s far more cost effective to just warn of poisoned waters than to actually clean them up

Your kids should never swim with the remaining fish which we have tainted too badly for us to eat

But it’s OK, my precious children, you can always drink bottled New Jersey water & toss the plastic

And you won’t have to fret, cause you never saw, or even knew about, anything that was any better

Heavy factory fleet nets smash coral reefs that are already bleached out and dying from the warming

That’s after they came by with arsenic and dynamite to stun and paralyze their prey

A dead bycatch of seabirds, dolphins, albatross, marlin, sharks and rays bobs lazily in their wake

But, they’ve externalized the costs of ocean strip-mining so you can simply enjoy our weekly special

We institutionalize warfare, glorify suffering and commit ever-spiraling sums to our so-called dEfense

Only the truly wacked-out dare suggest that our divine Jihads simply quicken our own destruction

Countries encourage defensive population growth only to then fight resource wars to feed them

Conflict is simply inevitable so we know research to eradicate it would just be more socialist waste

We snicker at their fairytale squishy nonsense regarding climate change as well as global warming

Libtards dont dare ever mention how much money and how many jobs it would cost to even try to fix

And proudly every family joins the battle by adjusting home thermostats to their personal comfort

But one-worlders keep twisting out of context, junk science in their vast, conspiratorial takeover plot

And every single morning brings another half a million mouths to try and feed sustainably...

But only fascists whisper against the will of all our gods regarding our duty to be fruitful & multiply

So each day we add to our responsibility to squeeze out just a little more from just a little bit less

And no government dares think beyond simple food, shelter & jobs…and new breaks for the very rich