Even
discussing
these issues we hold so dear with
those
people would
compromise our own sacred beliefs – Red
V. Blue
Why
should we have to pay for your fast food and candy addiction,
aggravated by terminal couchitis
Why
should we listen to your lame
exercise crap when we worked all day & there’s a good game
on
Why
should we pick up your litter since that just tells you it’s OK to
toss more junk out your windows
Why
should we try to read all the tiny print, big-word food ingredients
we don’t understand anyway
Why
should we fret over climate change when the CO2
oligarchies assure us it’s all part of God’s plan
Why
should we buy your overpriced, elitist organics when factory snack
foods are so tasty & so cheap
Why
should we have to listen
to your fat
slob pickups & pathetically-lame Harleys 24x7x365
Why
should we worry about clean water since we guzzle all ours from
bottles that we quickly toss out
Why
should we vote against the 1%ers who call us moochers &
just offshore us for more fat bonuses
Why
should we believe in security since today it only means more
surveillance with greater
secrecy
Why
should we mess around with that useless
recycling just because you nannies think it’s so great
Why
should we allow more mass shootings & let Fox & the NRA
further stir your infantile paranoia
Why
should we eat that disgusting kale when doublemeat-bacon
cheeseburgers taste so damn good
Why
should we subsidize your wanton obesity and scornful disdain for any
non-gas powered activity
Why
should we waste our money on that clean energy fraud just
because it makes you feel less guilty
Why
should we bomb hell out of places you cannot even locate on a globe
with names in big print
Why
should we let Washington bureaucrats tell us what our kids are
supposed to learn in their school
Why
should we respect your spoonfed opinions - Fed to you as catchy
soundbites by paid spin doctors
Why
should we bother
reading when that liberal media is all just big lies, junk
science & bad math
Why
should we try to get the lead & mercury out of your kid’s
brains since you obviously don’t care
Why
should we stress over your increasing ignorance - After all, it makes
you even easier to control
Why
should we give a damn about whatever keystoned species so long
as football
is on 80 hrs a week
Why
should we hypermile in our hybrids as you pretend it’s NASCAR in
your clumsy, bellowing pickups
Why
should we turn in assault rifles so you can give over our precious
national sovereignty to that UN
Why
should we respect your implanted view that the
market will bring healthcare to the sick or poor
Why
should we pay our water bills, even though you do, since clean water
is a universal human right
Why
should we accept your judgments regarding fuzzy math when you
can’t even count out change
Why
should we be denied ATV
access to our federal lands just because we don’t want
to stupid hike
Why
should we clean up after your beloved frackers who profitably export
our Energy Independence
Why
should we ever dialog with those who condone that sinful
murdering of babies called abortion
Why
should we not smoke
bud after witnessing millennia of your alcohol-induced violence &
stupidity
Why
should we forsake our secure black & white faith for your fool &
frightening rational uncertainty
Why
should we support you when your own initiatives always boil down to
just loudly shouting
‘NO!’
Why
should we permit the government to over-regulate us on down into that
old-Europe style decay
Why
should we all have to bray in unison to support increases to an
already-bloated dEfense budget
Why
should we lower our divine
moral standards by compromising with you godless NewAge heathens
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